Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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