are you still at the devil's house?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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