I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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