those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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