I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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