shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How does one acquire holy water?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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