he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
