I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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