Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
