You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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