a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
