Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
