it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
