i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
