Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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