Apparently you make a good broom.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
