Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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