Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
