i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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