i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
