i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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