Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize