Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
