I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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