I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
