so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
