The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
