she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
