..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
honey bunches of taint.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize