I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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