Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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