He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
