We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize