no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
