My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
