Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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