But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
