I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
