I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm having to shit out rocks
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