my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
