just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
