I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
