I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This house was built for laser tag.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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