bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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