About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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