They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
