i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
