i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
third nipple confirmed
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you never un-have a 4some
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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