So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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