Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
