ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You may now shotgun with the bride
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
