You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize