Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
