so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
