just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
