u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
