I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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