I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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