and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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