He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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