Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
