How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
