Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
