I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Shame - the story of my life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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