Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
