I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
tell me about the fingering
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