I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
