States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize