once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
