don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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