For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
