I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
