either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
